Why can’t we just perform “My Headband”? It’s a classic.
Ladies? Can I make a free observation, as you’ve temporarily saved me from a hotel room filled with five teenage boys whose hormones make the room smell like one large armpit? While I think the Fabray/Berry collaboration on Loser Like Me was amazing…
No, it’s Fabray/Berry
I think it was a maybe a little too self-involved. It was sort of, me-me-me. What I think will win us Nationals is a song that’s joyful and light, you know? A kickass summer song that exudes happiness.
Kurt’s exactly right. Let’s brainstorm. I’ve got it. The song will be called “Peaches.”
We’re not going to win this thing with sunshine and rainbows.
Not all of our personal fairy tales are going as well as yours, Kurt. Some of us are dealing with a little hurt. I wouldn’t mind writing about that. In fact…
She picks up the phone, hits a button.
Are you ordering the ahi tartare? Make it two.
I’d like to order six Brandy Alexanders, please. And a pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas…
Quinn, what are you doing? You’ll get us in trouble. We told Mr. Shue we wouldn’t drink!
Until Nationals. Hey, guess what — we’re in New York. We should kick back and loosen up with a few drinky-poos like all the great writers. Fitzgerald. Slash. Dorothy Parker.
(into the phone)
That’s right. Just charge it to the room…
The girls and Kurt cheer, excited, as we MOVE THROUGH THE WALL TO FIND…
Rachel and the boys enter. Will and the rest are already here.
You wanted to see us, Mr. Shue?
Where have you been? You left three hours ago.
I’ve been working with the guys on their song. They needed my lyrical acumen.
You weren’t in your room.
We were working on the roof.
Mr. Shue, I think we should suspend all of them from competing.
Stop deflecting, Quinn — if anyone should be suspended, it’s you.
What did she do?
She ordered drinks from room service.
They never delivered them.
Because the manager is smart enough not to serve minors. You guys promised not to drink. If and of you had I would have been forced to send you home.
Which is exactly why Quinn did it. She’s trying to sabotage us. She can’t stand the idea of me actually achieving something.
Not everything is about you, Rachel — even though I know you and Finn were out on a date all night.
I’ve finally arrive. Quinn Fabray is jealous of me.
Enough. Why are you guys being this way? Don’t you want this?
That stops the room.
She’s right. You haven’t been acting like youselfr since we got here, Mr. Shue.
A long beat, then —
You’re right. And I’m sorry. From now on, I’m here, one hundred percent. I need to go smooth things over with the hotel manager so he doesn’t kick us out.
They all fake disappointment. Will starts out, but we can see how conflicted he is.
INT. LIMA BEAN — DAY
Over lattes, Kurt regales Blaine, rapt.
Oh my god, you should have seen it. We looked at the top ten list for Showase and everyone went numb. And then Jessie went on and on and on about how it was Rachel and Finn’s kiss that cost us Nationals…
While I understand passion, I do think that was unprofessional. Than what happened?
When we got back to the hotel? Santana lost it…
INT. HOTEL ROOM — FLASHBACK
Santana is going apeshit. Sam and Puck are holding her back, as she claws at Rachel and Finn, who stand, guilty-looking…
Two years! We worked for two years and came a-a-all this way to get to Nationals! You know how much salt water taffy I had to sell? A lot. I sold a lot of salt-water tafft and I’m not proud of how I did it! I threatened children! I fondled an old man’s boobs! And then what happens? Rachel and Finn decide that Nationals is a perfect time to start guzzling each others’ saliza live on stage!
(now, absolutely insane)
AND NOW WE’VE LOST AND I’M HUMILIATED AND I’M GONNA KICK BERRY’S ASS!
INT. LIMA BEAN — DAY
The plane ride was absolutely silent. No one said a word. We all just sat with our faces burried in our complimentary copy of SkyMall.
P.S? I’m totally getting a cat. SkyMall sells this thing that teaches them to poop in the toilet.
Wait, I don’t get it. You don’t seem all that sad.
(with a shrug)
It was still amazing. I flew on a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany’s, sang on a Broadway stage — and do you know how many times I had Ahi tartare? Six. Six times.
Out of nowhere, simply:
I love you.
Kurt’s a little taken aback. Then, simply:
I love you, too.
And that’s it. Simple, real, unadorned. A tiny beat. Then, with a pucksih smile…
You know, if you stop and think about it? Kurt Hummel’s had a pretty good year.
A BANNER stretches across the hallway — “CONGRATULATIONS NEW DIRECTIONS. 12th PLACE AT NATIONALS. GOOD ON YA!”
Reveal Will, looking up at the sad not very grand posted. Stoic. Emma comes up.
No..Yes. And embarrassed. All of that work, a whole year. We were so cocky.
You’ll get them next year.
(then, looking right at him)
I think mistakes make people grow. Sometimes people can make a big mistake. One that wastes a whole year of their lives. One that keeps them from the thing they want the most.
He smiles, now looking right back at her.
And how do those people make up for those big mistakes? The ones that keep them from the thing that they want the most?
They have to work really hard to make up for it. Spend at least the whole summer focued on nothing but making things right.
The whole summer?
Maybe even longer.
A lot longer.